Blogs

NAPLES, FL--It was a Sunday afternoon on a hot, sticky Southwest Florida summer day, when Jane Mortensen received a call from her brother.

"Hey Janey," he said stoically, "dad's dead."

"Who?" she exclaimed. "Ohhhh-DAD...I thought you said DEB, as in my friend Deb from work." The confusion settled, the siblings learned that their father had died from a long struggle with life, a common cause of death in America and the entire world as well.

Scientists in Florida have been researching the disease, but have found no cures thus far.

"It's a confusing affliction, and we're determined to find out just what can be done to prevent life from happening" says Dr. Timothy McBride, M.D., a well-respected cardiologist in the Naples area. With unconscionable amounts of taxpayers' hard-earned money, one day we may be able to slow it down, and people may be able to live until their 150s, maybe even their 160s."

Other doctors nationwide aren't so optimistic, however.

"Although preventative medicine is, well, preventative, life has always been a tricky bastard. I've seen many patients stricken with it, and I've even seen dozens, if not THOUSANDS of people die from it," another doctor said.

But where do we start? When did life start becoming a cause for death? How can we keep families like the Mortensen's from experiencing such grief?

Many theories have been developed concerning this debilitating disease. One theory, "Life is short, play hard," has been popularized by the Nike company and made some headway before falling short after teens were diagnosed with life due to "too much horseplay."

Another theory, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" was also tried. But according to my dad, that theory was "just plain stupid", so I didn't research it further.

Scientists like McBride will continue to research life and its effects on humans, and hopefully they can develop something to combat it.

Who knows, maybe we can learn how to beat life by watching the Highlander movies. Cause those guys were immortal, right?