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BRADENTON, FL-- Local youngster and all-around "deviant" Johnny Sanders took another step towards his goal of being the alpha male of his group this Saturday. Before heading to the register at a local Sunoco gas station to check out with his mother, Sanders asked her for change to use for a package of wax lips--or so she thought.

Instead, immediately upon receiving the quarters the eleven-year-old made a mad dash to the restroom, ignoring his mother's pleas of "Where are you going? Tell me where you're going!"

When Sanders came out, he had a satisfied look on his face, an untied shoe, and a male prophylactic in his pocket. The "rough rider," as the crumpled label showed, was hidden safely in the front pocket of the boy, who was was eager to get home and show his friends.

"This was a big step for me. The guys and I had always talked about how one of us really needed to get a condom to see what it's like; just to see what it actually is in general."

According to Sanders, the he and his friends mainly discuss "boobies, turds, and (choir teacher) Mr. Hanley's breath.” He hoped the lubricated condom would add another facet to their increasingly redundant after school chats by the swing set in the neighborhood playground.

"I knew that if I got one, then my friends would appreciate me for maybe a week, and we would totally have fun with it."

Sanders continued on to say that the "fun" would most likely include stretching the condom out, blowing it up and letting the air out slowly so it makes a fart noise, and "putting it around stuff." One hysterical moment in their condom trials was when "jokester" Sammy Pavin triple-dared Johnny to touch his tongue to the contraceptive, and "holy poop, he did it!" Pavin said.

To cap off the raincoat rambunctious-ness, the pre-teens settled on filling it up with water and shooting at the rubber with bb guns.

"I knew we had to do something crazy, because we didn't know when we would be able to go behind our mothers' backs again, and who knows if any of us would have the guts to go for it all, either," concluded Sanders.

-Ryan McAfee