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Love on the Rocks with No Ice

When to Call?

Posted September 10, 2007

Most people remember the scene from Swingers when the boys are discussing when to call a girl. Recently, I've been thinking about this question: when is the right time to call?

A couple of weeks ago I met a guy at the Bennigan's bar in the Promenade At Bonita Bay. The bar is pretty cool because it's a circle, there is a little moat around the bar, the bartenders entertain with tricks and there's a DJ and dance area. I had a good conversation with said guy. We talked about punk music and Philadelphia (where he is from), and at the end of the night he gave me his phone number.

It took me about two weeks to call him. I had been busy, and I thought he could be a cool friend if I got around to hanging out with him. He was surprised when I called, said that it had been so long that he'd pretty much thought I wasn't going to call him. But we made plans to hang out and when we did, it was fun. I really enjoy making new friends, and since I haven't lived here for very long, he introduced me to a bunch of his friends.

In the couple of days after, he called me about three times. I didn't have time to answer or call him back, because I was working, tired or just hanging out with my roommates. But I did get creeped out that he called so much. It took me a couple of weeks to contact him in the first place, so why is he calling me so much? Did my friend vibes change sometime in the night to sexual tension? I didn't think so. Or is he just genuinely excited to be my friend?

While I was going through this predicament, my roommate met a guy that she kind of liked. They met at a busy bar, she brought me along to break any unease, and he was perfectly sweet. The next morning he text messaged her at 7 a.m., which woke her up, and throughout the day he ended up texting her about 10 times. I'm going to call a spade a spade and say that's clingy. She, on the other hand, said she'd probably have texted him when she got up to say she had fun last night or something like that.

I decided to poll some of my girlfriends. Most of them said it's nice to get a call the next day. A couple said it's good to talk the next day and make plans for later that week. I usually just get a little freaked out by this gesture, calling the very next day. Even when I really like someone, I wonder if I should step on the brakes. I also worry if I'm the one calling. Never do I want to look like a clingy girl that wants to jump into a relationship.

Maybe since we have such easy access to communication devices these days I should rethink my views on when people call, text, email, aim, etc. But for now I think I'm still going to go with the Swingers three-day rule.


Comments

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Posted by theasian (anonymous) on September 11, 2007 at 1:04 a.m.

irony. complete irony.

Posted by methadont (anonymous) on October 1, 2007 at 6:32 p.m.

You don't really think some guy gave you his number at a bar b/c he wanted to be friends, do you?

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