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It has become apparent to me that after the age of 18 it is hard to define dating. I remember my freshman year in college I sat down with a bunch of my friends and we all explained the vocabulary of dating, or our individual vocab for dating. The conversation was interesting because we all came from different parts of the country. For some people "hooking up" meant having sex, while for others that phrase encompassed any sexual action. Here is my dating vocabulary in ascending order:

Talking - Easy to define, right? It's when you first meet someone that you find attractive and you're getting to know them. In this phase you flirt, see each other at parties, maybe talk on the phone. It's the basics. Both of you know you like each other, but you're not sure how much because you don't really know the other. Talking can be trickier than you'd think if one person has a crush and the other just wants to be friends.



Hooking Up - I believe that a hook up is anything from making out to full on sex. It's hard to describe what happens in the middle if you're not ready to have sex with your partner. There is a lot of gray area in hooking up, and usually you only tell those details to your closest friends. Also known as "fooling around."

Friends With Benefits - This one seems self-explanatory, but unfortunately I think some people get a little mixed up on it. It can either be two pre-existing friends that occasionally hook up and leave out any kind of emotion, or (and I think this might be more common) you find someone that you like, starting hooking up and realize that you don't want a relationship other than the occasional midnight call. Both parties in a “friends with benefits” situation have to understand that there is no emotional attachment or else it could be the downfall of this kind of relationship.

Dating - This is a big step, but usually the next step up, from talking. You're getting to know each other more intimately. You both know that you want to be with each other but don't want to dive into a boyfriend/girlfriend official/monogamous relationship. During this time your friends probably meet his friends. All together you're spending more time together.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend - There must be some kind of communication to get to this point. It doesn't have to be a big "where do you think our relationship is going" kind of talk. It could be as simple as "I only want to be with you." I will advise that there should be some time put in during the dating phase before you just jump head first into this kind of relationship. Oh, and this is a big one, don't let one person believe that you are his/her boyfriend/girlfriend before you're ready to call yourself that.

I don't think it's necessary to discuss each of these different phases with the person you’re with, but if one of you thinks you're dating while you think you're friends with benefits there might be trouble brewing.