coastalbeat.com Stories: Game On

Gaming Gold in Call of Duty 4

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 22:56:00 -0000

Call of Duty 4 has my ass glued to the couch. Wanna play?

Get to Know Your Inner Megalomaniac with SimCity Societies

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:15:00 -0000

SimCity Societies brings the heat, the flavor, the read deal, the bacon and all sorts of other good stuff to virtual urban development...

Bringing the Pain, Again

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 21:47:00 -0000

Master Chief is back for the third and final installment in the ridiculously popular Halo Series. And he's here to kick some serious ass...

Tom Clancy's GRAW 2

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 19:49:00 -0000

Tom Clancy is giving you the right to go commando, point your barrel and fire away in this life-like war game...

NCAA Football '08

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 22:33:00 -0000

NCAA Football '08 has hit the shelves, but before you run to Best Buy with a few twenties in hand read reporter Nick Krueger's review of EA Sports' latest offering and decide if it's worth the cash...

Be a Super Hero For a Day

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 20:49:00 -0000

Any time that I start feeling down about being fat, broke and unemployable, I sit back and close my eyes and remember the line in Amazing Fantasy # 15 when Uncle Ben gave Peter Parker the greatest advice ever. “With great power comes great responsibility.” Although I was really irresponsible and hated to help others, I still had a dream of becoming a superhero. And now, thanks to Activision and Raven software I finally get the chance, by playing Marvel: Ultimate Alliance for the Xbox 360.

Still Skating After All These Years

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 19:03:00 -0000

I had my first glimpse into the world of skateboarding back in the early ‘80s with the rise of a wily young skateboarder by the name of Tony Hawk. He not only manhandled the professional skateboarding circuit, but through his success and boyish good looks, took Hollywood by storm, starring in such blockbusters as Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, and the 1989 cult classic Gleaming the Cube, starring Christian Slater. I figured if Tony Hawk could make it, why not Big Perm? Skating would be my ticket out of Jersey and into the Hollywood spotlight, where I would party ‘til it was time to go to rehab.

Gears of War

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 18:44:00 -0000

Thanksgiving is the time of year when people across America give thanks for all the good things that have happened throughout the previous year. I started to think back as to what” Big Perm” is thankful for. I can definitely say that I am thankful for soft-core porn, making fun of the elderly, and blondes and metrosexual men that still think getting a manicure is ok. And don’t let me forget the guy that invented boneless Buffalo wings. But if I were going to think of one thing that tops my list it would be Epic’s new blockbuster, Gears of War for the Xbox 360 next-gen console.

New Games Let You Shoot 'em Up, Play House

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 19:16:00 -0000

Dogs, aliens, Aston Martins and Simon Cowell are coming to a gaming system near you.

Game On: A Video Game You Can't Refuse

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 18:08:00 -0000

Lately I’ve been running around the office trying to loan money to co-workers with outrageous vigs, while drinking espresso like it was liquid crack and eating pasta and cannolis like they were going out of style. I have caught myself on numerous occasions introducing people as “friends of ours” or “friends of mine,” and yesterday I kissed the janitor on both cheeks and recited that famous line, “I know it was you Fredo, you broke my heart. You broke my heart!”

Game On: In a Lego Galaxy Far far Away...

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 18:32:00 -0000

I have been a mess of emotions since LucasArts and TT Games released Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy for the Xbox 360 console a couple weeks ago. I could barely concentrate, due to the fact that I was about to face my greatest one of my greatest foes as a child, which happens to be, yes, you guessed it—Legos. I can definitely say that Legos are the stupidest toy since the pet rock was unveiled to gullible children of the fifties. You might be saying to yourself, “Why do you hate on Legos so much Big Perm?” Well, I’ll tell you why!

Game On: Saints Row

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:49:00 -0000

Yesterday I peacefully meandered down the aisles of Bed Bath & Beyond for a new 500 thread count queen size sheet set. After that, I strolled over to Starbucks to get a nice ice cold caramel non-fat latte, and then used an AK-47 to smoke a rival pimp, stole his hoes and sold them to a rival Madam.

Get your Madden 07 Fix

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 20:46:00 -0000

On August 22 of this year, Maddenoliday was introduced to celebrate what most football fanatics and players alike say is the best football game that EA Sports has offered since the Xbox 360 was unveiled. I am here to say that John Madden and the Tiburon team have once again pulled off another spectacular achievement with Madden 07.

Big Perm's Out for Gridiron Glory

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 22:00:00 -0000

When you think of college football, what comes to your mind? The smell of the grass as the home team takes the field, the electricity of the crowd as the marching band plays your alma mater’s favorite fight song, or maybe it’s the 40,000 drunken fans, who have painted themselves silly in the name of school pride. For me, those memories are a little hazy, not surprising considering the fact that I attended college for eight years and I’m not a doctor.

Taking Out Zombies By Any Means Necessary

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 02:35:00 -0000

First things first. Let me introduce myself. My real name is Carl, but a lot of folks around here call me Big Perm. I have been playing video games since the early eighties and have followed the progression from second generation video consoles to the “next gen” consoles of today. But right about now I’m a little dissatisfied with the game reviews that I’ve been reading lately. They’re all about texture mapping, pixels and technical jargon that only Stephen Hawking could decipher. For me, when I hear all that technical hoopla, I just want to reach through the review and give that person a well-deserved pimp slap.