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First things first. Let me introduce myself. My real name is Carl, but a lot of folks around here call me Big Perm. I have been playing video games since the early eighties and have followed the progression from second generation video consoles to the “next gen” consoles of today. But right about now I’m a little dissatisfied with the game reviews that I’ve been reading lately. They’re all about texture mapping, pixels and technical jargon that only Stephen Hawking could decipher. For me, when I hear all that technical hoopla, I just want to reach through the review and give that person a well-deserved pimp slap.

I can’t promise you that every game I review is going to be the greatest, but what I can promise you is a straight-up game review with old-school commentary, and definitely no fluff. You can save that fluff for porn, because that’s how Big Perm rolls.

Dead Rising is the latest anticipated creation that the makers at Capcom have unveiled in what I can only describe as George A Romero’s 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead on steroids. The protagonist of the story is Frank West, a freelance photojournalist, whose exploits in war-torn regions around the globe cannot prepare him for what he’s about to face in the small suburban town of Willamette, Colorado, population 53,594 and dropping by the minute.

After breaking through all the time-consuming loading screens and storyline plots, I finally got down to what makes this game kick ass, which is killing zombies with every possible object imaginable. With a ferocity reminiscent of Grand Theft Auto, Frank uses everything from chainsaws, bowling balls, shopping carts, sledgehammers, soccer balls, shower heads, and, my all time favorite, a Grim Reaper sickle. There is nothing like chopping up scores of zombies into puddles of brain matter and decomposing flesh. It’s fun for the whole family.

The interactive qualities that Dead Rising exhibit make me feel certain that this is probably the best “next gen” game out to date for the Xbox 360. In between shopping for jock straps at the local sporting goods you can scarf down pizza, raw meat, and other delectable goodies in order to keep your health meter intact, as well as pick up a new change of clothes at the local toy store and try on a “Mega Man” helmet if you’re in that kind of mood. There is so much to do without following the story line, it’s hard not getting sidetracked with all the blood, guts and gore and making it through the 72-hour game mode.

The only downside to Dead Rising is that the save system can be a bit of a hassle. You can only save the game at set save areas like restrooms and lounge areas, and if you get chomped on by a few dozen of the undead and die, you have to go through the whole process again from your last save. In the beginning of the game, Frank starts off a little slow and weak, like he has a gigantic load in his pants, but that movement gets better as you rack up ‘prestige’ points. Once you rack up a certain amount of prestige points, this gives you the opportunity to run faster, and fight off the zombies like you got a pair.

Overall the interactive game play is freakin’ genius. Combine that and the high count of blood and guts, this game truly is the “next gen” game that we were all waiting for. In the spirit of this awesome game, if I were going to rate Dead Rising I would definitely disembowel 4 out of 5 Zombies. That's how big Perm rolls!