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Yesterday I peacefully meandered down the aisles of Bed Bath & Beyond for a new 500 thread count queen size sheet set. After that, I strolled over to Starbucks to get a nice ice cold caramel non-fat latte, and then used an AK-47 to smoke a rival pimp, stole his hoes and sold them to a rival Madam.

You might think I’m crazy and disturbed, but that’s how Big Perm rolls when he plays Volition’s latest blockbuster, Saints Row. This game is the newest urban adventure that will plague Xbox 360 and other compatible next-gen consoles for years to come.

So is the concept original?

Well, after playing Saints Row for a while, I had this uncontrollable urge to plagiarize the works of Vonnegut, as well as tell people that I was the genius behind the invention of Scotch tape. I know that would be taking credit for other peoples ideas, and since it didn’t stop Volition, why should I be any different? And to all you ladies out there, Scotch tape was a very big success, wink-wink.

What I’m getting at is that Saints Row definitely follows the lead of the Grand Theft Auto series in lots of ways, including the corruption of the youth of America with its blatant promotion of gang-related violence and sexual promiscuity. My mother can back me up when I express to everyone that I’m a delusional maniac, but even I was a little disturbed by some of the violent missions that were played out, as well as the wanton disregard for displaying women in a respectable light.

Okay, now about the game: The action plays out in the town of Stilwater, which seemed respectable at first until I realized that instead of dining at Wendy’s or Burger King, I would have to settle for Freckle Bitches, the only cuisine I could find in all of Stilwater’s 36 neighborhoods.

Despite the lack of culinary options (and originality), after four sleepless nights, I can tell you that this game is awesome in every respect of the word. Did I just mention that this game was awesome, because its freakin’ awesome!!! I know that most of the game play is taken from Grand Theft Auto, but Volition has capitalized on an ingenious idea that sex and violence with movie star voice-overs sells.

With all-star talent like Michael Clark Duncan, Mila Kunis (Jackie from that 70’s show), and Michael Rappaport, as well as Tia Carrere and the legendary David Carradine, it was no wonder the plot itself kept me on the edge of my seat, anxiously wanting more.

The game play is very realistic and defined, especially when driving the different types of vehicles. Depending on whether the mission needs speed or brawn, you could either choose a fast moving muscle GTO, or you could slow it down with a 1987 beat up pickup truck. The one thing Volition has definitely improved on from Grand Theft Auto is drive-by shooting. Due to better car handling and aiming controls, the game gives you the ability to take down a player hater from the next set over going 80 mph with no problems at all.

Overall Saints Row does mimic Grand Theft Auto in many ways, but makes up for it with an outstanding story as well as by improving upon some of the imperfections that Grand Theft Auto was plagued with. I definitely would not let anyone under the age of 25 play this game due to its graphic nature, so if I was going to rate this game I would give it 3 out of five penicillin shots, just in case.